choices

a major lesson i have been learning this past quarter is the importance of the choices i make everyday, especially in terms of my attitude and my willingness to act (in general and according to God's will).

despite the ways in which the world sucks, despite the ways in which i feel bogged down by everything negative going on, and despite the ways in which i feel i have failed God and am a hopeless cause, i have a choice--a choice to be joyful and positive, to trust that God will deliver on his promises and has better times in store for me.  rather than looking at everything with a cynical and critical eye, i can choose into a positive attitude.  i can choose into being expectant, humble, and joyful before God. 

furthermore, despite the ways in which everything seems to be going wrong, despite the ways in which i feel alone, and despite the ways in which i feel frustrated and just want to give up on people and caring, i have a choice.  i have a choice to let my emotions get the best of me, to let my frustrations, resentment, guilt, anger, bitterness, and whatever other form of tension there is--i can let these emotions get the best of me and sit in them, allowing them to grow over time.  or, i can choose to be willing to engage with the emotions, move forward from them, and take steps toward healing, toward reconciliation, and toward living a life more like the one God calls me to live.

attitude and my willingness to go where God leads me.  they're important decisions i make everyday, and i'm realizing the impact of them in the greater scheme of things.  for too long have i let my emotions and circumstances dictate my attitude toward life and my willingness to go where God calls me day to day.

here's to keeping an open mind about everything, being determined to live out God's truth, learning from past mistakes, and making better choices in the new year.  starting now so i can get a head start.  :)