ugh

i felt the urge to update today. i felt like i was supposed to take time to reflect on my life and update you all on it. as well as maybe come to some sort of conclusion for myself about what has been happening lately.

two hours have passed, and i can honestly say that i took that time, more time than usual actually. i tried to piece together some sort of post, but nothing came of my efforts. no coherent entry was formed, no focused thoughts were shared, no conclusions were drawn.

instead, the unresolved nature of anything and everything in my life--that came to light. the messiness that is my life became apparent beyond measure. again. and even more so. the increasing amount of frustrations i have with God, with myself, and with others--they were made known once more. to top it off, the fact that i have made no progress on all of these issues pressing on my heart (or so it seems) and the fact that only more problems seem to arise--that disheartened me.

so yeah, i felt the urge to update today. i felt like i was supposed to take time to reflect on my life and update you all on it. as well as maybe come to some sort of conclusion for myself about what has been happening lately.

sorry i can't say i have it figured out.
sorry i can't say i am finding it easy to be joyful.
sorry i can't say that i like where i'm at.
but, hey, at least i updated.